Your act of defence and self-preservation will always be misconstrued as an unfair, uncalled-for ‘attack’ by those in your life, who view themselves as ‘perennial victims’ and believe they never do any wrong, therefore don’t register it at all when they hurt you first;
or those condescending self-appointed-authority in your life, who believe they are better than you; know more; and therefore must control the nature of your relationship.
In the minds of these, their feelings are of utmost importance and it’s not unreasonable to expect you to prioritise them over your own.
And you do it too!
I call it the…
Emotional Stockholm Syndrome
Yes, it’s very real!
When you willingly and lovingly allow your needs, feelings and often your self-confidence to be held hostage by someone you care for deeply (either because of your love for them; or you see them as dependent on you; or you’re afraid to imagine life without them; you feel a sense of loyalty, or sometimes even awe.)
And you continue to bend over backwards for their happiness without equal reciprocation.
And what’s worse…this seems perfectly normal to you!
Spot the Signs:
1) Each night, replay your day’s events in your mind and watch them in a detached manner, like you would watch a movie.
2) Recognise the emotion that every relation or conversation has brought you that day.
3) Identify those interactions which left you with that heavy feeling of disappointment, or a sense of void deep in your gut; even (and especially) if they’re by those close to you.
4) Train your mind to put this event in your past. Imagine this heavy feeling of injustice rolling off you, like water rolls off a duck’s back, or off the waxy leaves of the lotus. (Easier said, I know, but what’s done is done…)
Now try not to fall down the rabbit hole of hope…for change, for taking back the power, retaliation or revenge. Confrontations won’t be acknowledged, agreed with, or accepted anyway!
5) Stop believing the delusional notion your mind feeds you that you can change the ones you love, if you only keep trying. Change is an internal process!
You will end up changing yourself, until you can no longer recognise yourself…and not in the way you would like.
6) Now follow the crucial next step :
IGNORING is bliss!
Temporarily break the give and take of this karmic cycle and wish them well.
7) Very politely draw your own boundaries and emotionally distance yourself, without letting them know.
8)Absolutely no explanations needed! It’s simply time to reign in your input and continue to interact civilly without giving this relationship your 100% emotion & effort.
Quarantine and social distancing are good for the heart too!
9) Stay close to the ones who are currently vibrating on your frequency.
This is a very fluid occurrence and changes often.
It’s how we constantly meet new people, make new friends, enjoy new experiences.
This daily change in vibrations is also how the ones who are meant to be yours, will keep coming back to you!
10) Meanwhile, every time you miss them, just pray for their spiritual rise so they can join you again.
Disclaimer: in the give and take of life, it is possible that I may, knowingly or unknowingly, be the toxic someone in your life. My sincerest apologies for I know not what I do…if I feel you distancing yourself, I promise to work on it.
Till we meet again…..🙏🏻❤️
#karmiccycle #spiritualvibration #spirituality #healing #coping #selfworth #selfrespect #socialdistancing #protection #selfpreservation #notetoself #reminder #selfimprovement #newyearssresolution #boundaries
Sunset Effect - Nitya Satyani 