On the morning of Ganesh Chaturthi this year, I met Laxmi for the first time.
This is one of my favourite festivals to celebrate in Mumbai, but the pandemic & work/study-from-home schedules have made taking vacations so difficult, that for the first time I decided to leave the city on this day.
So the significance of meeting Laxmi unexpectedly on Ganesh Chaturthi was not lost on me.

Mammoth, powerful, built like a tank, and extremely beautiful, she stood in one corner minding her own fruit-eating business.
Human instinct and self-preservation told me to approach her very, very cautiously…and to keep safe distance. Not that this was my first interaction with an elephant and none of the many previous one had ended badly.
However it is the mind’s job to warn, based on that one-odd person’s worst-case scenario that it may have heard somewhere and believed to be true.
‘One swift kick after all, and she could send you hurtling into outer space faster, further and definitely for longer than Jeff Bezos,’ it warned me…
Just shows how misleading our mind can be when we let it take control.
When we allow its first suggestions to become our final decisions!

In any case, I only wanted to get close enough very quickly, to seek her blessings that day, (as unconventional a ‘Ganpati Bappa darshan’ as this was.)
Even though on an intellectual level I knew elephants are most gentle souls. Still one must never underestimate sheer brute strength.
Laxmi’s Mahout encouraged me to stand closer and touch her even, without any fear.
That little reassurance from a virtual stranger was enough to silence my doubt-creating mind. That, and the fact that I had just witnessed an enthusiastic little child accidentally poke Lakshmi’s eye, and Lakshmi had only blinked once, displaying long-lustrous eyelashes and simply turned her face away ever-so-slightly, without even a whimper.

What followed next, not surprisingly, was the nicest twenty minutes of uninterrupted cuddling, petting and much loving, with my new friend.
Now, I’m well aware that this brief love affair may have been completely one-sided and unrequited. Darling Laxmi seemed to like everyone who met her, an equal and appropriate amount.
But that day, Laxmi, taught me, without any words, a very important life lesson.

In the real world, when two people meet there’s always a power dynamics at play. In no relationship…even if it’s the briefest of interactions, are the people concerned always on equal footing.
The reasons could be many…
physical size, strength, power, wealth, possessions…
authority, hierarchy, seniority, gender…
employment, personality, knowledge, wisdom, skill…
or just sheer luck…the list is endless…
But this dominance is also fluid and ever changing, sometimes the ownership of power shifting hands within the span of one conversation.

So when one has even the slightest edge over another, the onus lies solely on them, and not the other, to make that relationship work.
A position of advantage, often disturbs the other person’s security and self-confidence, without our even knowing it or meaning to.
It could be the silliest thing…something we aren’t even aware of…
Unnecessary comparisons and unfair labels that may have been generated in the other person’s imagination…(as was my initial hesitancy towards Laxmi based on her size.)
So it becomes our prerogative to ensure that we come across as less intimidating and more approachable, as far as possible and as long as it’s fair to us. (As Laxmi did for me, with the nodding of her head, swaying of her trunk, her kindest wisest eyes and warm sunny disposition.)

Lakshmi reminded me that:
Gentleness, and not aggression, is the real sign of strength.
Authority need not translate to arrogance and standoffishness, just because you can.
Respect and inclusion; compassion and consideration are far superior traits than being condescending, aloof or pretentious, in the delicate process of building relationships.

I’m well aware that I could hug Lakshmi only because she let me.
Had this gentle giant not communicated to me, without making me feel small, that we could still be friends despite our disparities, I would have carried on without ever interacting with her.
And that would be ok too! My life would have been just the same…only a little bit poorer!

Because the love and connection that I received from her…(quite co-incidentally on the day that we celebrate our beloved elephant-headed Lord), was not because she needed it, but because she knew I did.
And for that I’m grateful!

ganpatibappamorya #ganeshchaturthi