MY MOTHER
I think this is one of the first topics for
essay-writing every child is made to attempt in school…in at least three languages.
Each year, Mother’s Day arrives, and I think to myself this is the year I’m going to write a long loving post about my mom.
Writing is what I love doing, after all. Words come to me so easily. If anything, the problem is that I use far too many of them, and a very meandering storyline, to make my point.
1000 word essay…pffft…I usually need a thousand for the introduction alone!
As my mother says lovingly (and a tad too often),
“you can talk even to the dead!”
Besides, I am a mother now! So I know first hand, how much of herself, her feelings, her ambitions, her wants and desires, my mum must have had to put on the back burner over the years to raise two headstrong daughters (as I’m sure all moms do!)
So for someone like me, writing a thank you note filled with love and gratitude should be really easy, right?!
And yet, each year, Mother’s Day comes and goes without me ever having written a word.
Therefore, this year I decided to dig a little deeper, to unearth the cause of this very unusual and selective case of writer’s block.
My Mother!
Where do I begin?
Truth be told, I miss the days when i could pick a piece of art paper and my box of crayons, and make her a Mother’s Day Card. It was so easy back then!
You drew a bunch of flowers (because all mums love flowers)…followed by a rainbow, a butterfly, a tree, the sun, some grass. And Happy Mother’s Day written in mostly mirror images. And you skipped over to her with a big smile, because you already knew you were going to be rewarded with the tightest hug for this masterpiece, which had absolutely nothing to do with your mother, but would still get taped to the inside of her closet or tucked in a secret file with all your other works of art.
But now…words seem to be so hard to find when the emotions that go with them are too overwhelming to examine.
How do I thank my mother when I don’t even know how much to thank her?
Where do I even begin…and how would I possibly conclude?
How can any amount of words suffice when I owe her my very existence?
And so, yet again, mission unaccomplished with just this lukewarm message, which is not even the point…at the end…of the tip…of the giant iceberg of how grateful I am for my mother…I hope for better luck trying to explain next year.
But all I know is that, when I was a child and they asked me, ‘what do you want to be when you grow up?’ I promptly replied,
‘I want to be a mother’
Then I grew up and was in my 20’s when they asked me the same question again. This time I promptly replied,
‘I want to be MY mother’
Thanks mom for being the best, and showing me how.
I once used to dress up in your clothes and pretend to be you.
If only it were that simple!
P.S : sometimes when I yell at my kids, I pause in shock, because the words that fly out of my mouth in the heat of the moment, are the exact ones you used on me, complete with the big scary eyes.
P.P.S : they’re not as effective on them, strangely! Maybe I’m not doing it right…
Can you please show me how?!
-by Nitya Sunita Alwani
#happymothersday #mothersday #mothersday2021 #grateful #gratitude #love #prayer #mother #Parenting #rolemodel #inspiration #motherhood #likemotherlikedaughter
Sunset Effect - Nitya Satyani 