The burden of borrowed grief…India’s ‘privileged’ class and the ‘migrant’ crisis.

Over the past month we have repeatedly witnessed the terror of our migrant workers. And I use the term migrant loosely because I do not comprehend how our brothers and sisters from the same country can be classified as such? Agreed, the place they think of as home is in a different state and their source of income compels them to live in another, however according to the constitution, all of us belong equally to India. And therefore no Indian citizen can be a ‘migrant’ anywhere within India. However, since someone in our all-knowing media, or no-f**ks giving politician, has dubbed them as such, that is sadly how they shall be remembered, forever, in this dark Covid-19 chapter in the history of India. 

So, over the last month, brutal, graphic videos have been circulating on WhatsApp and Facebook, and on every news channel, exposing us to the plight of lakhs of our people, trying desperately to reach home…a home which could be anywhere through the length and breadth of our vast land…by foot…in the peak of summer…without proper food…physically carrying their life’s belongings and often members of their family!

These videos flood us, the more privileged lot (once again the term privileged is used loosely because it applies to anyone with a roof over their head and their family with them) with not just sorrow and sympathy but also a whole lot of guilt, as they’ve been designed to do. 

Guilt over having so much more and yet not being grateful enough. 

Guilt over not doing enough for those in need. 

Guilt over our festivities and celebrations and anytime we dare feel joy.

Guilt that causes us to question every other emotion we are feeling in these difficult times, be it anxiety over the future, sorrow over a stalled income, boredom, helplessness, frustration. 

These visuals of ‘migrant’ families negate every other emotion we experience. 

How can we even afford to complain?!

It’s true. I completely agree. At the same time, in my humble opinion, guilt is an extremely unproductive, wasted emotion, especially when it is unaccompanied by any effort to rectify or resolve a situation. 

Then it simply becomes a heavy burden that we stubbornly refuse to put down.

Does our guilt help the ‘migrants’? 

No! 

Does the weight of this borrowed grief help us? No!!. 

Fun fact: The human mind cannot differentiate between its own pain and the pain of someone else. 

This is scientifically proven. Our minds comprise of mirror neurons, which are a great tool for learning. This is why we yawn when someone else does, or walk in the same direction as the person in front of us. This is how we learn languages and babies learn by mirroring their mothers.

However this is also how we mimic second hand grief and live it as if it’s our own.

The presence of mirror neurons explain why we cry at the funeral of a remote acquaintance when we see their family breakdown, or worse, in a movie, even though we know it is pure fiction.

Simply put, our minds have been designed to empathise.

However what we are experiencing in these times of not just unprecedented calamity but also unprecedented, lightning-fast spread of information, is an Empathy Overload!

Are our minds equipped to carry this load?

Why do we keep subjecting each other to this overdose of negative emotion? Simply because it moved something within us and it’s so easy to hit the forward or share button?!

Yes, the government failed the ‘migrants’! And it is the job of the media and the opposition to point that out. But the government in a democracy is like a marriage…a love marriage for those who voted for them, an arranged match for those whom they were forced upon…but a marriage nonetheless. And in any good marriage, when one partner fails or fumbles, it is the duty of the other to rise to the occasion and supplement their shortcomings. 

Sure, you can fight, criticise, correct and even divorce them…but that is done later, in private. 

In the face of danger we should be a team. And our spouse has been partly unsuccessful in handling a situation. 

So focused were they on managing the Corona crisis based on the statistics of already suffering nations, they blindly mimicked their coping strategy. However, they overlooked the population of day-wage earners and labourers. It did not occur to our Government that despite specific instructions and security measures this entire population would not be compliant about staying wherever they are without work, shelter and earnings and would ache to go home. 

With an immediate lockdown, they had hoped to curtail the spread of the deadly virus to rural India where medical help is lacking, by restricting the movement of potential carriers from the cities into their villages. This entire exercise was now a wasted effort! 

They simply did not predict the emotions and resilience of the average Indian when he wants to see his family. 

However, since our spouse in power has failed, is there truly nothing else we can do besides forwarding, sharing, ranting, raving, cursing and criticising them?

Our hearts are breaking, eyes are tearing, guilt is overwhelming…but that’s about it!

Sure, we are donating money wherever possible,  but how do we know it’s reaching the right people. What more can we do?  

Of the top of my head, I wonder…

Has any ‘privileged’ citizen, on the grounds of humanity, considered voluntarily clearing some space in our stores and offices that are currently lying vacant and unutilised due to the lockdown, and welcomed one migrant family each, to live there during this time…

If we shared basic meals and gave them a roof, a fan and running water, temporarily, of our own free will…

If each one really reached one, maybe, they would not have taken off on foot or slept on train tracks? 

A large part of the ‘migrant crisis’ could have been avoided if the general public had also risen to the occasion in event of yet another ‘failure’ of our political partners. (Another term that I use loosely, but that’s just my opinion). 

Sadly, we did not. And still will not! It isn’t our job after all. We pay taxes! 

But then the point of sharing the videos showcasing how different our privileged lives in lockdown are from the unfortunate ‘migrants’….is a hypocritical waste of our guilt…it serves absolutely no purpose!

Solutions are many if we put our minds to them. But we have to be honest with ourselves.

Are we truly prepared to join the fight? Or are we merely distributing the load in order to reduce our share in this very curious case of ‘your loss is my pain’!