To,
My babies,
When you were younger, it was my job to predict any danger that you could possibly find yourself in…the edge of the table…a step too high…an oncoming cold…and then take the necessary steps to prevent it and keep you safe.
As you grew older, your responsibilities increased, and I could no longer keep you sheltered in my controlled bubble anymore. Now I get to proudly watch you venture into the outside world on your own, as it should be, but I also have to watch with a helpless, heavy heart, as you struggle with moments of worry, fear and anxiety…just like the rest of us.
And I feel compelled to give you my two bits of maternal advice.
see, the interesting thing, I’ve learnt about fear is…
When you are in real danger…life altering…immediate…physical or emotional trauma…nature has provided for your mind and body to become completely aligned; adrenalin rushes in to take over; and you find yourself going into ‘fight’ or ‘flight’ mode, functioning perfectly on autopilot.
Which means that when we are truly in danger, our bodies instinctively know exactly what to do.
So it is safe to assume that at all other times, when we are plagued by the worry of our deepest fears coming true, that unwanted tsunami of dark thoughts which causes us to lose our appetite in the day and keeps us tossing and turning at night…
…that situation is NOT real!
Think about it…Worry is nothing but thoughts. It is a figment of our imagination!!
When we are afraid, our mind makes us anxious about something that may or may not even happen, while allowing us to believe it is magnanimously preparing us for the future…Sneaky little devil!
What if I fall?
What if my presentation isn’t good enough?
What if my friends laugh at me?
What if I’m late?
What if I can’t finish all the work within the deadline?
What if I lose the people I love?
Well…what if you don’t?!
Our creative cells, in the comfort of our safe place, fire one…or several….‘what if’ scenarios, resulting in the loss of our peace of mind.
I’m not saying these things won’t happen. They happen to people around us all the time. Where do you think our delinquent brain cells get their rough drafts from?
And of course, it is prudent to be prepared. Always! At all times! I cannot stress on this enough!
If you have evaluated all that can go wrong in a particular scenario, have a Plan B prepared.
But once you’ve finished strategising, and there’s nothing further you can do to alter the situation in that minute…primarily because the problem doesn’t actually exist yet, it is then imperative to switch off. Like pressing pause on the remote.
Remember, God doesn’t give you the strength to fight tomorrow’s problems, today. Which is why things that seem so daunting one day are very easily and efficiently managed the next, leaving us wondering where we got the strength from.
What then, is the cure for all this worry?
I don’t know for sure, I’m still finding my own solutions to life, but what always works for me is the understanding that:
If you’re feeling depressed, you’re living in the past
If you’re feeling anxious, you’re living in the future
Be present!!! Come back to the here and now!!
The remedy may not be as easy as it sounds, but it IS pretty simple.
When my thoughts and emotions are too overwhelming to handle, I get out of my mind and put all my senses to work.
Force yourself to stop thinking for a minute and focus only, with utmost concentration, on your surroundings.
Return to where you are…
What your eye is seeing…
What your ears are hearing…
Trace the lazy path of a raindrop on a windowpane…
Watch the insects swarming in a tree…
Observe the people on the street…
Concentrate on traffic or nature around you…
Busy your hands with mundane tasks, like fidgeting, doodling, ironing or folding.
And remind yourself:
1) fortunately, you are not the story teller of your life…God is!
And He writes far better scripts for your life than you do.
2) All you have to do is trust Him and put your active imagination to better use Create something greater than fear!! I can confidently tell you from my experience…Optimism makes life a lot easier.
Instead of believing in the worst, hope and pray for the best.
As for the rest…
Que sera sera!!
-From the desk of
Forever
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Sunset Effect - Nitya Satyani 