To The Village That’s Raising My Child

It takes a village to raise a child! Clichè but true as all mum’s have realised. Even though, as any mother will tell you, I too have given the job of bringing up my children, my all. But it is only when you have little children do you realise that along with theirs, your own life and health has become that much more precious than it ever was. You see, we mum’s simply don’t have the luxury of falling sick or dropping dead. It’s just unprofessional!
So I must acknowledge my village who has stood by me every step of the way….(especially when I actually needed them). For all the breaks, the me-time and their most valuable advice and assistance…..Here’s to my village. Thank you for everything!

(To my dearest husband, our parents, and our siblings,

Words are not enough to acknowledge all the love and support that I have received from you all (especially in those postpartum days), and for that I am eternally grateful. But I wouldn’t even know where to begin to express my gratitude. So I am not attempting to do so here. Instead I want to thank all the others who walk with me every step of the way.)

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To my staff,

Thank you for watching over my children in my absence. I know you owe us nothing. That you’ve left your own home and family behind, just so you can live paycheck to paycheck.

And so, when you get corrected, reprimanded, begged and implored to keep my children’s best interests at heart;

to give hygiene utmost importance;
to ensure you’ve sprayed my children with insect repellent every time they step out;
to boil and filter their drinking water and

even ensure that the colour of my daughter’s rubber band matches her outfit…

I’m sure it makes you think of your little siblings back at home bearing the weather and playing with sticks in the dirt. I’m sure you miss them and think I’m crazy for the impossibly high standards that I expect you to maintain for raising children who technically, would grow up just fine anyway, with or without all my meticulous planning.
For that, I am sorry, but I truly thank you for going along.

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Dear teacher of my child,

A few months ago my ‘baby’ was promoted into your class.

I cannot believe sometimes how quickly they grow. When I look at them I still see the innocent, little infant who would cuddle and snuggle into me, and depend on me for every single thing.
So much has changed over the years. Now they’re almost as tall as me and spend eight hours away from home, during which time you are their primary caregiver. So thank you, for the values and discipline that you impart. For the love and the praise that you shower on them.
Every time they come home beaming with pride about something you appreciated, I send a silent thank you, your way, for the confidence that you have instilled. At the same time, you also hold the power to break their spirit with one harsh word or act, pieces of which take me very long to put back together. So, each year, I hope, pray and trust that you will Donne a favour and use your power wisely!

A big thank you also goes out to their sports and extracurriculars’ teachers. Thank you for teaching my children life skills that will stay with them forever, and bring relief especially in the bad times. For the art and craft, the music and the drama, for the game and the team spirit. Thank you for exposing them to many things that I have been unexposed to and therefore could never teach them myself, thereby opening up a whole new world of opportunities for them.

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To My Pediatrician,
Every Time you give my children a smiley or a sticker for being so brave during their vaccinations, I feel like you have half a mind to give me one too. God knows I deserve one. Because my child’s ill health makes me feel helpless. Thank you for patiently answering my panic calls and talking me through every fever, cold and bad tummy, for the millionth time. And most of all Thank You for resisting the urge to give me that smiley.

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To my dearest friends,

Thank you for letting me vent and for venting with me. For discussing every insecurity, worry and complaint that we feel towards the rest of the world, when it’s being so unjust and cruel to our children.

But more importantly, thank you for not talking about our kids every time we meet. Thank you for the girls’ nights and the chance to play dress up, just like when we were younger. Thank you for making me feel connected to that part of me, that isn’t mom.

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To the moms of my children’s play dates,

Sometimes I know you personally. Sometimes I don’t, especially when our children have met in school and arranged their play dates themselves. So it sounds weird for me to say this to people I don’t even know very well. But thanks for taking care of my child. In your home he learns what’s fair, to share and to care.

Thank you for mediating, when our children invariably fight, and for taking up for my child when I’m not around to defend him.

Thank you for the yummy food you offer my child.

Although when they come back home and tell me the food in our home isn’t as good as yours, in that moment I do find you a tad bit annoying. But from one mother to another, I feel no shame in picking up the phone and asking you for the recipe. As I’m sure, I’ve done the same for many. We mothers are a tribe whether we know each other or not.

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To the Whatsapp moms on class chats,

Thanks for letting me reach out to you for the unfinished maths questions, the homework, the school tests and school rules. Thanks for the daily reminders, the forwards, the circulars and for discussing the weather on rainy mornings. And a big thank you to those mums who offer to send in that extra ribbon, paper plate, or glue in your child’s bag, to share when at the last minute, one of us forgets.

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To The government,

Thank you for the infrastructure you provide. I am very well aware that living in a developed urban city of the world I have a lot to be grateful for. For roads and schools and future job opportunities that my children will continue to benefit from. For the existing laws and hopefully ever changing ones, that will allow them to live his life with the liberty and dignity that they deserve.

Yet, you still have a lot to do for me. In a nation where with each passing day, every single commodity is struck by inflation, the value of human life seems to be tragically diminishing.

As a mother, every time I read the newspaper I encounter stories of young children sexually violated or murdered. Accident victims, victims of cyber crimes, of drug addiction…victims of diseases that could easily be avoided. Hundreds of stories, all different from one another, yet to me, the headline remains the same.

Our government has failed us!

And I live with that horrible skin-crawling fear that what if this was us?! Because it so easily could be! And as a law abiding citizen, I do have the right to demand more for my children than the mere assurance that besides my precious village, it is simply good luck that is keeping them safe!
(This post can also be read on my page, the Occupational Mother, at Mycity4kids.com)