#Remember The Time You Did Not Rape Me

If I were ever asked to give an acceptance speech, for the award that is my life, I imagine it would go something like this…

‘To the most important men in my life, I would like to say Thank You.

Thank you to my father, for bringing me up just right.

For teaching me to value my world and the people in it, but most of all, to value myself.

To know my mind and how to speak it.

To first differentiate between good and bad…then to stick to the right lane, always.

For treating me like a princess but for letting me know that I am so much more.

For showing me that I am the best at whatever it is I choose to do and for being proud of me, no matter what.

And most of all, for always being there for me.

Next, I would like to thank my husband….

For having the gumption to be the man that my father made me believe I deserve.

For listening when I speak my mind and respecting me for it.

For valuing my opinions when he reviews his day.

For understanding my need for space but letting me lean on him when my backbone seems to weaken.

And then, for nudging me gently back into my space when I’ve regained the strength to thrive and blossom, on my own terms again.

Well, in an ideal world, there really should not be anything that I need to be thankful for.

Because, what else is the job of a father, if not to raise his daughter right?

Where is the great achievement if a husband, merely respects his wife?

Why should I need to appreciate somebody who simply lends me the equal companionship that I provide?

And yet, I do! And I am not ashamed to admit it.

Because I have learnt to count my blessings.

You see, this world is far from ideal!

We live in a world, where fathers rape their daughters. It maybe rare, but not unheard of.

And then they muffle their screams with threats, violence and blackmail.

We live in a world where marital rape is even less uncommon. As is the mocking condescension in the way a husband treats his wife.

A world where women are interrupted every step of the way. Where they are expected to sacrifice their being and aren’t even acknowledged for it.

Where they are bone weary from fighting the war against domestic violence, glass ceilings, being working moms, keeping their children safe and still smiling through the pain.

From being so suppressed little by little since the day they were born, that somewhere along the way, they begin to believe that they really have no rights, and worse…no voice. And what is truly frightening is that, they are ok with it!

So, yes, even though I shouldn’t. Even though neither of the wonderful men in my life expect it from me, I am compelled to say thank you.

I choose to be grateful that my father raised me, not like a son, not like a daughter….but simply as what I am… a human. Secure in the knowledge that nothing is beyond my reach, and I deserve it all, in equal measures.

I want to appreciate my husband for rolling over to his side, literally and figuratively, because he is evolved enough as a human being to know, that no means no! And his self confidence is not dependent on the fact, that being his wife, is my sole identity.

Thank you both, for NOT making me a statistic, just because you could have.

For not burying me alive under the weight of a misplaced sense of power and authority that men often do, just because they happen to be men!

Today, I am a successful combination of a million little things, but my feminism is not so arrogant that I cannot acknowledge the fact, that I can be me because I did not have to fight you every step of the way.

#RememberThatTimeYou did NOT rape my body, mind or voice? Thank you for that!’

*This post was first published on onmogul.com as part of their campaign #RememberTheTimeYou….to shed light on domestic violence and violation, in honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month.