When Life’s a Trek

Last December, my husband, children (aged 6 and 9), and I, visited Bhutan. Being avid travelers, it was on our bucket list and from the minute we landed we knew it was going to be an extraordinary vacation. The country itself, enveloped by mountains, is as close to heaven as one could get, and the wonderful people with their unshakeable pride in their culture and down-to-earth basic human goodness made the trip even more memorable. It is in places like these, where pure oxygen floods your lungs and your soul connects to a higher power.

On our to-do list, was the trek to the place that has come to be Bhutan’s poster image…the Tiger Nest Monastery in Paro that’s perched precariously on the edge of a cliff, with only one treacherous, rocky path, and 750 steep steps to take you there. Deciding to take the plunge (figuratively speaking) my husband, the fitness enthusiast and I (the other extreme…. I move out of bed only at gunpoint)….figured it would be a great experience for us as a family. The trek, which Bhutanese believe must be undertaken at least once in their lifetime, required six hours of intense labour.

And I use the term ‘labour’ because it reminded me of the time when I, literally, was captivated in the throes of labour pains, while delivering my babies. The pain was intense, I still had a long way to go and I wished I could simply get up and leave.

I didn’t sign up for this!

Surely there had to be an easier way…

….But there wasn’t!!

So ever since, in my mind, ‘being in the middle of labour’ has become synonymous with being trapped in a situation from which there is simply no escape.

When, as much as you may want or pray, quitting is not an option. From giving birth to a loved one to losing a loved one, life is full of instances when you cannot just wish for them to go away or miraculously sleep through or fast forward to the end. You simply have to go through every excruciating moment with your eyes wide open.

The same was with this trek. And amidst the five hours-forty minutes out of six, of incessant and completely justified complaints, my maternal duties demanded, that I motivate my children, so they would not stop. Because there was literally, no other way out. If I could call a number and have us airlifted out of there, I would have. But our choices were to either finish the trek or spend the night in the wild.

As it always does, adrenalin took over and did its job…the ever resilient human survival instinct did the rest, and we finished the journey. We may have crawled on all fours to do it at some point, but we did. And I was extremely proud of my children!!

The thrill of achievement did wonders for our pride and confidence. Friends and family couldn’t believe how they did it. Especially when they heard that once we had consumed our limited supply of water and snacks from our backpacks, there was no store to buy any more. They were keen to know what I had said to my children?!

Well, legend has it, that there’s great wisdom to be found in the Himalayas….what I told my children that day, I later realized, got me through not just the ordeal on hand, but has proved to be true for all of life’s most grueling tests as well:

‘Sometimes, in life, there is no way out, but to finish. So you’ve got to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward…. Like a soldier….Like yourself!

When the situation is excruciatingly brutal and there’s no finish line in sight, don’t think about the problem in its totality. Because it is often beyond our capacity and power of endurance to assimilate the magnitude of the situation we are faced with.

Take baby steps instead. Here and now!

One step at a time. One day at a time…

Every minute remind yourself to live in the moment.

Be here….be present…but most of all, be functional.

No matter how enormous our problems are, they’re magnified even further by our minds. Our bodies have the capacity to keep going. It’s the mind that gives up.

Living in the past and wishing for things to go back to the way they were, only causes grief.

Allowing our minds to wander into the future, wondering how we will possibly get through what we have no control over, brings only anxiety…..

Here and now, it’s safe.

So don’t waste time assigning blame on yourself, your destiny, your life, your God, or anyone else whose fault it quite possibly is.

The fact remains that….

It is what it is, and ‘you’ve gotta do what you gotta do’.

Which need not even be your best. You don’t need to demonstrate a superpower or be a superhero. Just do what is possible….Do what’s right….But mostly, do what is required of you.

Because if there’s one rule, it is that:

 ‘This too shall pass’

It may irreparably change your world or worse, change you…but change is the only constant. So keep your madness intact….your chin up, buttercup…grit your teeth and brace yourself. Sooner or later even fortunes get bored of beating down the same door.

Just remember to breathe!’