Ins(MOM)nia

Dear God of Slumber,
Please help me God, why do you hate me so?I’m a good person, I do deserve more.All I want is one night’s sleep;No getting up to feed her nor to make him pee.I don’t want to wake up with a pain in my head;Seven times each night, I don’t want to leave my bed.My today begins before my yesterday has ended;I wake up whining and my body’s unmended.If you think it’s not as bad as it seems;Consider this, in months, I haven’t finished a single dream.Like watching movies, the ends of which I’ll never know;I’m exhausted and drained and the dark circles show.I now know my neighbour’s son came home at three;And the crows 5am orchestra woke up the baby.When she finally fell asleep it was time to drop him to school;A person who has to pray for SLEEP must surely be a fool. I mean, it’s not even an unaffordable luxury;How can I be a good mother if you’re denying me this necessity?Oh dear God, please keep us safe by night and day;Besides that, it’s only for sleep that I pray!!Statutory Warning: sleep deprivation causes melodrama! Every new mother has been through it, that phase when your calendar is divided into hours rather than days, and in those wee hours, you realize that the age old saying ‘sleep like a baby’ is completely misleading!! But then one night as I lay awake (yet again) at 4 am, with my little angels chubby hands lazily wandering over my ribs while he quenched his thirst, I thought of all the parents around the world who weren’t asleep at that very moment. Some who were waiting for their partying, teenage daughter to return home;Some who were wondering how they would ever repay the loans their son took to invest in what he was convinced would be a money making venture;Some who rocked their heartbroken daughter in their arms as she cried lonely tears in the night, promising her that life would get better, even though they didn’t know that for sure;Some who heated a glass of milk for their overburdened child who burnt the midnight oil for an important exam;Some who smelt the rancid stench of smoke and what they suspected might be drugs on their childs breath….And I once again realized that the sweet smell of my babys milky breath, the warmth of his hug barely encircling my neck, the feel of his little body fitting snugly into mine needing me so unconditionally in a way that only a baby can, and only a baby will…all of him was precious, even at 4 am! At least he was close to my heart, tucked away safely in my bed, unfettered in the knowledge that mummy and daddy would be there with him and more importantly, for him. And in those moments of bonding, I realized, once again, how fortunate I was to be granted the simple joy of watching him grow up. As I patted him to sleep and kissed him goodnight for the third time that night, I whispered to him that we love him and would be there whenever he woke up….to battle the imaginary monsters under his bed, to take him to the restroom yet again, to bring him water for the nth time! As for my sleep… like every other parent all over the world, I sacrificed it the day I decided to have a baby and it was a very, very small price to pay!

(This post can also be found on Mycity4kids.com on my page The Occupational Mother)