Like Child, Like Mother

If I were asked to close my eyes and think of my childhood, it would be a time travel into a state of happy memories. My sister and I pretending to be princesses, dressing up as our mum in heels, giving our Barbie dolls haircuts, because mom told us hair grows back faster after a trim….(by that logic it had seemed like a good idea at the time)….carrom and table tennis with a house full of cousins, family feuds over Dumb Charades and Pictionary, Tinkle and Archie comics hidden within text books, holidays with our parents, drives with dad….drives ON dad.

And then one day….. I was all grown up. Going out with friends replaced family movie nights, wearing lipstick no longer required written permission from mum, I could now work, I could date a boy…I married a boy!!

And all remnants of childhood games…bicycles and fairytales lay faded and forgotten somewhere in the background.

So when my children came along, it was like revisiting my own happy childhood. Once again there was an explosion of colour at home….blocks, balls, books that replaced glass vases and silk upholstery.

And as fairytales and nursery rhymes reintroduced themselves to me from my private vault of nostalgia, I realized they were still as much fun for me as before, if not more, because this time they came accompanied by the looks of pure joy on the faces of my children.

My second brush with childhood (as I like to call it) was different….for more reasons than one.

In the last decade or so the world had transformed…the exposure and opportunities were different now. Children today are no strangers to new experiences such as snorkeling, bungee jumping, skating and surfing.

And along with them I was trying new things and also returning to the simple pleasures of life. The exhilaration of cycling, the nervousness of stage performances, the joy of road trips.

But not just that, this time round I was enjoying things very differently, seeing them from my children’s perspective.

Living with my son who is a tornado of energy (while I’m a deadweight like an anchor), I have no choice but to put down that book, get off my bed, and put on my running shoes.

My daughter amazes me as she speaks her mind with the authority of a queen, completely unfazed and unfettered by dominance, as opposed to me at her age when I was painfully shy, never deviating from the straight line .

Now I often find myself taking a page out of their books, coaxing myself out of my too complacent comfort zone and end up participating in things that I had never attempted before.

So while getting a tan and swimming in a resort pool was the extent of my beach vacation earlier, today I find myself snorkeling amongst corals as a direct result of my son’s, “can we try it?”

Or holding my breath at the top of the drop on a roller coaster (that overturns no less), as my face takes on a ghastly parlour, wondering what in the world possessed me to do this?!

Or telling off someone who I think is being unfair to my child, while, in the past, I would have preferred to be a martyr and swallow the bitter pill rather than confront them in public.

I’m no expert on the human body…but maybe it’s not just the parents’ genes that pass on onto a child. Maybe the reverse is also true….because being a mother to both my children has altered my personality a little as well.

Could my children’s adventurous genes have been transferred into my body while they were in my womb??

If you consider all the miracles that take place during a pregnancy (two hearts and two brains in one body….a person within another….a human being emerging from a seed) my theory isn’t entirely implausible.

Maybe I’m onto some earth shaking revelation here, which could explain why mothers have a personality change after childbirth.

Or maybe it’s as simple as wanting to see that glow and smile on our children’s faces in those playful moments.

Whatever is the case the outcome is as plain as day….in my quest to ensure my children have a happy childhood…I’ve subconsciously allowed them to do the same for me!

(This post can also be found on Mycity4kids.com on my page The Occupational Mother as part of their Khuljaye Bachpan campaign)