Hai-geneI love my morning walks. Walking on the streets of one of Mumbai’s elite neighbourhoods, home to the superstars and the super rich. If I closed my eyes for a second I could well imagine being a nomad stripped of all responsibilities, walking without a care in the world…
Except that I wouldn’t dare! Because the fear of getting doggy-poop on my sports shoes is enough to turn my day-dream into a day-mare!
I’m told this neighbourhood is dotted with fancy homes, fancier cars and fancyful people. I wouldn’t know, since I’ve never let my eyes leave the road. Which is recommended because the other day I just about managed to sidestep a condom- a used one at that!
If this is the situation outside the homes of the rich and famous in layman’s land doggy poop gets replaced by human excrete, sanitary napkins, and… well, you get the drift!
But we are like this only. Our standards of hygiene are different from others. And my guess is that if there were a hygeine school, our standard would be ‘detained in Kindergarten’
How else do we explain every road of our city smelling like a dumping ground of a chemical factory?
And that’s probably why indian movies based on the lives of indian people are all shot abroad these days. Almost every other country is aesthetically and visually more appealing than our own. Doesn’t that tell us something?
But cleaning the streets isn’t our job, right?! Though smearing them with urine, faeces, paper or plastic is!
Well I’m proud to say that the rule in my house remains, “do not litter!” Unless throwing-up on the road, that one time I saw a cabbie spit almost a litre of his paan-saliva cocktail, constitutes as littering. But in my defence I was pregnant and that really is a revolting sight no matter how often I’ve had the luxury of seeing it.
But maybe just ‘not littering’ isn’t good enough. I confess that I am guilty of turning the other way when somebody else does.
But no longer. I am going to take matters in my own hands! (Not literally of course. Before someone hands me a broom).
But I sure am tired of smelling shit, and playing hop scotch over it.
What I am proposing is a proposal. Some homework for our government to do. Please issue a law that littering is an offence! (Ya I know it exists already)!
But this time say it like you mean it!!
Littering is an offence punishable – no not by law because we all know how that works or rather, doesn’t! Littering is now an offence punishable by the people of the state!
Every citizen of our country should have the power to fight slime! Every time you catch someone litter you are in the position to charge him a fine of let’s say a hundred! And (here’s the good part) to pocket it. No tax deducted since its technically social service.
How does that sound? And should the accused refuse to pay, which he most certainly will, you are entitled to drag him to the nearest police station and lock him in jail for an hour. Now anyone educated in Indian ways would know involving the cops involves more than just a hundred.
And who would risk that? So be armed with your new power and please don’t forget to carry your portable dustbin the next time you leave home to collect your miscellaneous body fluids in.
Its not that hard to do! So are we all ready to fight slime??!!
Ps: summons to the dog walkers association. If babies are forced to be in pampers what make your dogs so special? Please…cut the crap!!! Literally!
Sunset Effect - Nitya Satyani 