FOMO or Less

Disclaimer:

This is purely a work of fiction. All characters in this docudrama, (namely the author and her family), are for reenactment purposes only. Any resemblance to any person dead or alive is purely coincidental (unless of course, you know it’s you) in which case there’s only one thing to do every once in a way….SWITCH OFF!!!

“I feel really weird sometimes.” I confided to my sister, the way only sisters can, secure in the knowledge that your deepest darkest secrets are safe, partly because….. she would be too embarrassed to tell anyone she was related to me. 

“Weird how?” she asked, concerned. 

“You know….embarrassed, alienated, angry at being left out…and so, so envious.” 

“What do you mean, like all the time?” she asked. 

“No, no only when I look at it. Though I ‘like’ it, ‘like’ isn’t what I really feel”

“Oh ya, that’s totally normal, don’t worry, I feel it too.”

I now felt somewhat relieved that I wasn’t alone, but also concerned that we had the same genetic neurological disorder, until my sister assured me it wasn’t just us. 

“Everyone has FOMO – the fear of missing out!! 

It’s the new flu!!”

Wow they even had a term for it! Then it must be normal, I rationed. 

“Normal?!!” our wise father scoffed, 

as he overheard our bizarre conversation.”Just because it’s common does not make it normal!!!!”

“You don’t know dad, you’re just not with it,” my sister retorted.

“Good! I would rather be ‘without’ it.” He mumbled to himself. “At my age I have enough aches and pains to worry about without this FOMO adding to my troubles.”

He was right, of course! Rationally we all know that but we can’t help these creeping feelings that are borne in the pit of one’s stomach and work their way up until they control the brain, each time we click on a social networking site…Facebook, Instagram, Whatsapp, DPs…. and see all the shiny happy people pouting back at us, posing without a care in the world on the one night you decided to stay home in your pjs.

That’s envy in its purest form! And it leads to a flood of emotions. How sad that we weren’t invited. Regret over not calling some friends sooner to make a plan. Anger at the husband for clearly having JOMO (the joy of missing out) who seems rather amused and unperturbed by these smiling images…although he’s doing his best to console me, while the movie he decided to watch on his Saturday night is on pause.

“These two girls don’t even like each other, you know that, and they’re hugging like Siamese Twins”, he tries to reason.

“And look at this picture. If ever there was a collection of the world’s dullest people, this is it. When we go out with them you’re always secretly messaging me to get you home quickly.”

“But at least they’re out while we are stuck at home” I snap back. “And what’s worse is they didn’t even invite us” I say in my most heartbroken voice.

“But you were most content to be home up until now” he ventures, “what’s changed now?”

“Now I see these people” I said pointing to my open Facebook window.

“You sound like the child in Sixth Sense. You’re scaring me now,” my husband said as if seeing me for the first time. 

“Ok…and what about these girls?” he’s still scrolling through and analyzing the contents of my account. “I’ve seen them sit lifeless throughout the evening until one of them brings out her phone and they suddenly pretend to have had the time of their lives….the truth is a photo shoot is the only reason you girls really go out! And not to mention, capturing that one miraculous shot where nobody’s arms are ‘looking fat’ is the only entertainment provided to the poor man who volunteers to photograph you’ll. I’m happier in my bed. Thank you”

“Whatever it is…they made it to Facebook tonight. I can’t post a picture of mine in my boring floral pjs, can I??”

“No you can’t.” He surrenders clearly exasperated, “because that would make you cooler. Sorry, let me rephrase that. Really cool people who are actually having fun when they are out do not have the time to pose for pictures.”

“And incidentally we were invited out tonight but I didn’t tell you because I wanted to finish this movie. And by the way, I told the host we couldn’t come because you’re under the weather, so please stick to that story in case you bump into them. Now could you lower the Air conditioner’s temperature please, on your way out?” he said snuggling into his blanket and pressing play on the remote, clearly not realizing the gravity of the situation, in light of his casual, insensitive revelation.

He never saw that pillow coming!!

It’s the sad story of life. Social networking has given birth to three sects of people… Those who must compulsively document every single activity of their lives as monumental events….so we are exposed to close-ups of the treadmill screens post their workouts, their daily breakfast, and of course the crazy party pictures followed by their hangover smoothies the next morning.

Then there’s the majority like me, who used to be emotionally balanced and content once upon a time, but now suffer from FOMO (which my husband learnt the hard way, is the new PMS and not the new flu). 

And then there are those, like him, who are blissfully content and *gasp* still living in the real world completely oblivious to the fact that it is a prerequisite for everybody nowadays to have a parallel virtual life….these are proud to have JOMO.

But the real tragedy is…. the latter two, are almost always married to each other!